Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
