Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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