We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
