i permit you to call me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
