I puked a lego.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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