I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
