I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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