it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
