you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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