Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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