He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I party with great urgency now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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