I'm eating all of the evidence.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
