I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
