i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize