Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
