i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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