For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
