last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
