I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
