Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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