we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
