he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
