Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
