She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
