I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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