We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I FOUND THE LEGS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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