Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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