Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
