ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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