after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
