By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everclear isn't food dammit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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