I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize