I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize