For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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