are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
