honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
