dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
