All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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