the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
