guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
