he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
