her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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