peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
