Me too!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
