Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
