If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
