If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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