real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
