I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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