smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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