Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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