i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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