I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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