this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
